Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Everyone says I win the strip club
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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