he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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