the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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