there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
