she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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