Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
