I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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