Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just had sex on a roof
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
