So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
