My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
