Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
