I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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