He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
