im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
