I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
