Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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