Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
