i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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