shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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