No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
