dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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