His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
