I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
