Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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