so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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