Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize