playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
