so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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