Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
