3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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