I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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