STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
