If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
