So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
