i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My vagina just clenched in fear
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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