And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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