and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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