think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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