Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize