a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
