Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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