nut hugger
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
