What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
