So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
