Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
tell your sister to shave her snatch
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
