New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
