$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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