I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
