Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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