: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
