Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize