I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i dont even know how to be here
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
