how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
