He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
