Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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