Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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