I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I faked an abortion last night.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
