just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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