we should wear snuggies to the strip club
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
