Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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