Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
