I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
