Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize