Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
