He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
