How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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