omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
