it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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