why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just googled if crying burns calories
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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