whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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