I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
