Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
