I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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