Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
