Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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