You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
