I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
